BROWN; Technophobia ‘R Me

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Deanna Brown is a Daily Sun staff writer and editor of "Explore" magazine.

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March 6, 2010

By Deanna Brown Corsicana Daily Sun The Corsicana Daily Sun Sat Mar 06, 2010, 06:45 PM CST

The signs of spring — trees budding, flowers trying to burst forth with blooms, softball try-outs, spring break, birds chirping ...

Oh wait. That’s the sound of my new cell phone alerting me to a text message.

Can you say, “technophobe?”

So it started when I got a higher-than-normal cell phone bill. Frugal Frieda here thought she’d locked in a rate with a certain plan, and shazam! This month there was another $20 added.

I call the cell phone company, all irate. The customer service man gently asks me, “Ma’am, did you perhaps fill out any surveys online that asked for your cell phone number?”

Oh. Yeah.

“Did you receive any texts while that was going on, ma’am?”

Oh. Uh-huh.

“Well, then I suggest we block all future activity such as this, if you don’t want to see these charges appearing on your phone bill.”

OK.

Once I’d admitted the error of my ways, and suffered a moment or two of atonement, I regained my composure and launched into a diatribe about how I’d been considering a switch to another phone carrier, and how my phone was so old it was tantamount to a tin can with a string, blah, blah, blah.

Look out you car dealers. Should I be in the market for a car, you won’t be safe with this shrewd negotiator.

“Ma’am, it shows here you are eligible for an upgrade. Would you like to have a new phone?”

Why yes, yes I would. But only if it is free and you lower my monthly bill.

Believe it or not, they fell for that. Never mind my phone was over three years old and I was probably eligible for an upgrade many moons ago. When the person you spend the most time with is the proud owner/operator of an iPhone, a case of major phone envy is inevitable.

A few days later, I received a box in the mail. One of my daughters eagerly opened and unpacked the new phone. “Ooh, Mom! Moving up in the world, huh?” (Sarcasm — what teens are known for.) I asked if said child could explain to me how to activate and operate new phone.

Her response? She put it and the box on the kitchen table and walked away.

Several days later, my boyfriend remarked that I would need to dust the new phone prior to activating it. Still it sat there.

I noted there was an instruction manual. Good. Check. Everything accounted for.

One day I turned it on and charged the battery.

Then put it back on the table with the box and the instruction manual.

Finally, I scooped the whole mess up and brought it to work with me, where Bob Belcher, super-tech extraordinaire, jumped online and set up my account, activated my phone, set a nice clanging bell sound for my ringer, and that dang bird chirping thing for the text alert.

I’m still not real swift at making calls, or sending a text, or even answering the darn phone. But — one thing I am pretty proficient at is entering new contacts. The night Mr. Belcher activated said cell phone, I had to sit down and manually enter all 150 of my numbers and corresponding names.

So, if I don’t have your number — I DO know how to add it!

—————

Deanna Brown is a Daily Sun staff writer, and editor of “Explore.” Her column appears on Sundays. She may be contacted via e-mail at deanna@corsicanadailysun.com. Want to “Soundoff” on this story? E-mail soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com.

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