Join the discussion on this column by using the Facebook app to the right
There were things in the news this week that made me “squeal” with joy, so I thought I’d share with you, too.
Item one: A bag found outside the FBI building in Detroit was put under the guard’s desk where it was an object of curiosity for three weeks before someone figured out it was a bomb. The canvas bag contained a little safe, and while it was under the guard’s desk it was x-rayed twice, shaken numerous times, and four times overlooked by a federal inspector. Twenty-one days after it was found and brought inside like a cat drags in a dead bird, two of the guards became suspicious and called an inspector who thought it might be a bomb. The Detroit PD disposed of it, according to the long piece shown on CNN and then posted on CNN.com.
The guard was fired, but he’s not the biggest idiot in these shenanigans. That honor has to fall to the rocket scientist who said “Hey, wonder what’s in this?” and shook it, no doubt next to his own ear.
Item two: An airplane technician who works for Alaska Airlines found a rip in an airplane wing and taped a note to it so the passengers wouldn’t need to panic, according to an article in Travel & Leisure magazine. The note stated: “We know about this.”
I’m sure that at 30,000 feet that was very reassuring.
Item three: A Columbus, Ohio, 15-year-old collapsed this past Tuesday after playing a video game for four days straight, according to WTVN, which boasts of having “Best Buckeye Coverage.” He had become dehydrated and had to be hospitalized. After his collapse, the mom took away his Xbox.
My theory is that he was dreading his friends asking him what he did over the summer and wanted to be able to say something more interesting than “Played video games.”
Item four: Locally, there are the young men who were climbing the Chase Bank building in downtown Corsicana and one of them fell off. Old-timers like me know it as the State National Bank building, but if none of these names ring a bell, it’s the big, tall, yellow one.
If you missed the article, the guys were climbing the fire escape. A cop driving by heard a “loud thud” and ran over and asked the guy lying on the ground if he needed an ambulance. When the dude said “no,” the cop arrested him and his buddy for criminal trespassing.
Clearly, these young men did not see the latest “Spiderman” movie, because anyone who has seen one of these movies knows that Spiderpeople need a whole lot of tall buildings from which to swing, not just one.
Corsicana is not super-hero territory. You just know that if Batman or Captain America were to show up at the Sirloin Stockade someone would say “Boy, you put some drawers on over those long-johns.”
Janet Jacobs is City Editor of the Daily Sun. Her column appears on Sundays. She may be reached via email at email@example.com. Want to “Soundoff” to this column? Email: firstname.lastname@example.org